la.la.liv

Bonjour mes chères,

 

Oh la la this week just about broke the two of us. The straw on the camel's back, I tell you!  Every week I learn something new but this week it felt like trial after trial after trial just crushing against us. And then we would learn things, and beautiful things would happen and we would see that this is all working towards something bigger. We learn lessons hard ways, but in the end we are thankful for them. Isn't it funny that it works like that? I will explain un tout petit peu.

 

Just before we were getting on the train to head to Paris for exchanges we got a text from the Elders that said "We have a problem." We were hoping it was a joke, but unfortunately it wasn't. They had just run into Ketjon and Domeniko, who told them that their Mom had told them that morning that they had toleave France. Just like that, the government told them that they couldn't be here anymore. They were leaving in two days, so luckily we would be able to get back from Paris in time to see them. We got off the train and the Elders had arranged for all of us to meet there. I saw Marjana and she came over with tears in her eyes and then just started bawling. Let me explain something -- these Albanian kids have lived with each other for life. For forever. I have never seen a bond like that. It is one of the most beautiful forms of love I have ever seen. They are kind, fiercely loyal, forgiving. They have never once been separated, and here they are in a different country, living in a foyer, and they are all each other has. And now they are having that taken away from them.

 

We all stood outside of the gare, and just cried. Boys, girls, all of us. On Sunday when Marjana was at Church she talked about how they might be moving back to Albania. Their faces lit up at the thought of it, and she said "The quality of life isn't better. But we would be together." Rip my heart out of me. Oh my goodness.

 

This week all of our amis were sad. I don't know what was in the water in Nancy, but everyone was feeling the weight of the world this week. EVERYONE! During a particular rendezvous when one woman was crying about her depressed and suicidal son, we just hugged her and cried with her, and I felt so helpless. What is it REALLY that we can bring, that we are bringing to the lives of these people?

 

In district meeting the other day we talked about being Representitives of Jesus Christ. I have been wondering about what that means, really. Sometimes other missionaries talk about it being like a job title, or a right. I have realized this week though that it is more a state of being, or a way of living. What does it really mean to represent Christ? So I studied as much as I could about Him this week. One day when I was reading in Luke I came across this verse:

 

 18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,

 

That is who Christ is.  He was here to heal the broken-hearted and bring freedom to the captives and give sight to the blind.  For me, that is what it means to represent Christ. I can't do everything or be a superhero missionary, but I can help people be healed through Christ. And some days I feel like the blind and the broken, but when I put one foot in front of the other, trust in God and keep on going, it feels possible. And it also feels hopeful and happy. And he knows every one of us. American, French, Algerian, Albanian. Chacun.

 

I am so thankful that God has just expanded my heart on my mission. It has been hard. Really really hard. But I love these people, and I love seeing them find hope.

 

And this week looks like it will be better -- we are making sushi with Anna, and today we are going to Parc Peiniere with Marjana and Donald to play football and look at the monkeys. Quelle joie.

 

I love you beaucoup!

 

A la prochaine alors.

 

xoxo

Olivia