the first email.

My dearest famille,

 

I hope my first letter didn't worry you too much—yes they were some of the hardest days of my life, but now I am doing much better. I kept on thinking about a line in a book I read about Matthew Cowley, one of the first missionaries to bring the gospel to New Zealand,  that explains how it felt. He said that his work as a missionary was "always heavy in its demand for courage." I felt heavy with the prospect of 18 months of this. I am usually okay during the day, but I get anxious in the nights and mornings. The other night though I had the coolest experience. I alway hear missionaries say "I can feel your prayers" and I'm like okaaaay. But as I was lying in my bunk bed I felt a very real light fill me. I could literally feel your prayers and see your faces and hear words of comfort. It was powerful. Thanks for that. It is still rough, but each day I feel lighter and here are the reasons why:

 

1. My District

If I had any doubts about chosing to do the eight week MTC rather than three week, they were quickly dispelled after getting to know my district. They are my favorite. We have begun to slowly make connections from Lord of the Rings to the MTC—i.e., the front gates are the black gates of Mordor, the temple is Rivendale, randomly during class someone will say "I can't recall the taste of strawberries, grass in the summer…tell me about the Shire." Needless to say, we all get along really well. They have already become my family away from family here. I know you will want details, so voila:

Soeur Hill: from Texas, a Dietetics major from BYU. She and I think about the gospel in a very similar manner, and she is sweet and quiet and very easy to be with. We have had a good time together.
Elder Louis: District leader, Haitian-American, from Boston. Hardest worker, humblest person. Always knows how to work hard, but also keep everyone happy. And he teaches us Haitian phrases every day. And inner city slang. Awesome.
Elder Wallace: from LA, kindest person, heart of gold. Always positive and willing to break into Selena Gomez or JoBro songs with me whenever the occasion presents itself.
Elder Price: From Huntington Beach. Solid, hard worker, really easy to talk to, fun.
Elder Oliverson: aka Elder Choutte From Logan, really funny, reminds me of Ben. Always nice to have someone you would totally be friends with in real life around.
Elder Wilson: from Bountiful. First thought he was super quiet, then found out he is super witty. Randomly makes great comments.
Elder Barr: Smart, thought he would be super serious. Untill he randomly breaks into dance on our walks around the MTC. Classic.

 

So there you have it. My family away from family. We spend our days studying studying studying. I have learned so much already, from the language to the gospel. It has been good being in this French class. Everyone has a basis of French and I have been able to learn so much by teaching language concepts to others. My teacher was in my French class last semester which is really funny. We did a group project together and he is a great teacher and really nice guy.

 

2. Personal Study

 

I have never spent so much time studying specific elements of the gospel. It is amazing what you can learn if you just pick a topic and study it without distraction for an hour a day.

 

My struggle at the MTC was put into perspective when on Sunday I went to watch a talk that Elder Bednar gave entitled The Character of Christ. He said that the defining element of Christ's character is that in the midst of struggle, while most people would turn in, Christ turns out. He turns out in compassion and love even when things are tough. This is now going to be a lifetime goal for me—to turn out, when we have the tendancy to want to turn in. To help others and focus on the good. Learning about Christ and how to be like Him is such a privelege and I need to remember that and really take what I have learned and make it real. Life is all about turning—changing, and turning to goodness and truth and God in order to become better, so that we can better love others.

 

3. I am going to France, and I can't wait to share this message with people. It changes hearts and makes people better, and allows us to be happy and joyful and be together forever.

 

I love you so much my heart still hurts when I think about it. Your letters and packages are lifesavers. They bring me back to who I am and make me happy. Wish I had five more hours, still so much I want to say, but I am out of time. Long long long letter soon I promise.

 

Je t'aime. Toujours.

 

Love

 

liv